Prajantr, Thoughts and Wanderings

"What anime kiss are you?" You have an intense kiss! You and your partner connect when you kiss and you forget about the rest of the world.

This was an old little quiz. Know what I love about anime and manga? A kiss is an intense moment, something incredibly special. It means everything.

Sigh….

*melts*

Ahem. Sorry about that.

Yeah, I’m not so ready to worry about real life stuff right now. I’m okay with the being alone bit. Actually, I might be just a little more comfortable with the being alone aspect.

But I get my romantic fix from watching anime and manga, especially the sweet moments that make you hold your breath and maybe even squee.

The ballet barre, that is.

Dance was an almost daily part of my life for 25 years. I had good feet, perfect arches. I needed a better turn out and it became clear as soon as I hit puberty that I had the wrong body type to pursue dance in a serious way. That didn’t matter. I loved it. I still took classes and participated in productions.

Six years ago I had surgery. I quit dance classes. I got fat, fatter than I’d ever been.

Since January, I’ve established a better exercise routine. I’ve cut back my eating portions. I’ve lost 5% body fat and over 15 lbs gross body weight. I’m still not satisfied with the way I look in the mirror, but I’m a work in progress and I’m getting there.

There’s a quote from Center Stage:

The unwise dancers blame them. He didn’t like me… she was unfair… I should have had that part. The smart ones know where to look when things get rough. It isn’t there. (Walks to the barre) It’s HERE. No matter what happened in class, performance, last week, 5 minutes ago… if you come back here… you’ll be home.

I’m not going to blame my ex for the way I let myself get fat. I’m not going to blame him for the decision to stop going to classes. (Okay, I want to, but I shouldn’t. Thus the quote.) I’m not going to blame anyone for how much I miss dance.

I have a sturdy ballet barre and music. That’s all I need. In addition to my exercise routine, I’ve added some time at the barre every morning and night. Not long, just 5 to 15 min.

Barre exercises are excellent for stretching and toning muscle. A lithe dancer’s body is very much due to the barre exercises that are part of routine practice. The added little sessions will help keep the muscle I’m building long and lean. I’ll keep my range of motion at the fullest and maintain maximum flexibility. (I’m told guys like that )

I will never be lithe, I’m just not built that way – but I get more out of the barre than just the stretching and the toning.

I get a little peace, a little happiness.  With every stretch, I relax. I find my balance and my center.

I’m not big on meditation. But this, this brings me back to where I need to be.

Well, I was already stepping away from attending Anime Expo.  Work decided the rest for me since I’ll be headed to DC that week for DIA Annual, a professional conference. Yes, that will be an absolutely different feel from attending an anime convention.

Alexd00, Omoikane and Animemiz (going?) will have to have fun without me. Heck, last I heard, 1Moy was sort of thinking about squeezing the con in too. Bring me back fun AKB48 loot!

Otakon: Convention of the Otaku Generation

So what’s the next con for me? I’ll be making the annual pilgrimage to Baltimore for Otakon, of course. That’s a tradition for me and Helen. Alexd00 is always there, since he lives so close.  Omoikane is going, I believe.  On the other hand, Alexd00 and I were noticing that it might be a light year for MT folk. Sadness.

Mandy and the lil sis have both bowed out for the year, so Helen and I will have the room all to ourselves. We generally don’t practice the “fill room, reduce cost” philosophy and only open our room to certain people. This is as much a service to others as it is an act of personal interest on our part.

I’m guessing the usual large sized cooler filled with adult beverages of choice will still be a feature in our room, as well as food fixings.

I haven’t decided if I’ll be cosplaying yet – no matter to the internetz because there will be NO pictures. O.O

Moving on. That’s quite a ways in the future, but Helen’s been counting down since …October, last year? So I guess the countdown is getting rather close.

My long time friend, Helen, loves zucchini. She absolutely loves it. She also loves zucchini bread, BUT the recipe her family uses is a very dessert-type sweet bread. She’s been trying to eat healthier and lose weight since January and has actually been doing a fantastic job of it (40 lbs!!!). So what could I do to help her out?

Well, I figured out a way for her to have that little taste of zucchini bread, in the form of muffins. Easy 1 serving portions, that are made with half wheat flour and half all purpose flour to be a tiny bit better for you. They’re also a lot less sweet than her family’s traditional sweet bread recipe. They’re heavily cinnamon spiced, which is full of antioxidants. And since they’re muffins and not loaves of sweet bread, she can easily have just one, not trying to exert the willpower to NOT cut an extra thick slice or eat the whole loaf. And trust me, the family recipe is that good.

So shredding the zucchini was something I’d never done before. If you have one of those nifty food processors with the appropriate attachment, this would be done in a jiffy. As it was, I shredded the zucchini by hand on a large grater and that was perfectly fine. It took only a few minutes and I really didn’t mind at all.

Zucchini has a decent water content, so I patted the shredded zucchini down with a paper towel before using it in this recipe.

Zucchini Muffins

Zucchini Muffins
For the batter:

1 cup whole-wheat pastry flour
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons canola oil
2 tablespoons honey
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/3 cups shredded zucchini

For the topping:

1 tablespoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

Prep the batter first…

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

In a large bowl, whisk together both flours, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda and salt.

In a medium bowl, whisk together milk, oil, honey, egg and vanilla. Stir in shredded zucchini so that all shreds are coated.

Pour wet mixture  into the dry ingredients and stir just until combined. No need to over-stir.

Evenly divide the batter between 12 cup muffin tin lightly coated with cooking spray or lined with paper muffin cups.
Prepare the topping…

In a small bowl, stir together sugar and cinnamon. Evenly sprinkle over the batter in the muffin tin.

Place into oven and bake until the tops spring back when lightly pressed in the center or a toothpick placed in the center comes out mostly clean, about 14 to 16 minutes.

Remove from the oven and place pan on a wire rack to cool for 2 minutes before turning the muffins out onto a wire rack to cool completely.
Makes 12 muffins.

Note: These muffins freeze well, so you can make a batch and enjoy one then pop the rest into a freezer bag and freeze for the future to keep them fresh. Nuke in a microwave for 30 seconds wrapped in a damp paper towel and they are fresh and steamy again.

Sat down to a tarot reading this past weekend. It wasn’t a surprise when the 8 of Swords came up.

Overall, the reading was interesting and applicable to both the professional and personal aspects of my life. In either case, it was obvious that I came from some tough places and that things would not be coming easy to me in the future, but that I would learn from it. It was also the interpretation of the reading that I should follow the more impulsive hunches, follow my gut. I’ve never been one to put a lot of stock in such things, but it was interesting all the same.

My friend, Julie, was with me for the reading and she felt that from a personal aspect, I really needed to open up and learn to date, just for the sake of dating. I never dated before meeting my ex. It’s not about learning how to date again, now that I’m single, it’s about learning how to date at all.

Every gesture, every nuance of affection means something to me. Probably means more to me than most people. A hug, a caress, holding hands, a kiss…sleeping with someone. Those are things I just can’t do without being attached, being emotionally invested. I can’t take a guy for a tumble just for the fun of it – it’s just not in me. When I get that close, I’ve given a piece of my heart and risk being badly hurt. I fall in love and fall hard.

I look at the prospect of dating and it frightens me. Just the thought of opening up and being hurt over and over again in the inevitable cycle of meeting and dating, it’s exhausting and terrifying.

In order to learn to protect myself from that, I need to develop a detachment. I can’t care as much, can’t give as much, can’t leave myself as open. But that’s never been me. So my other option is to risk dating, and a broken heart, every single time.

How strong is a person that risks dying every time they try to live? The 8 of Swords, bound by the pain of my past and blinded to the way into my future.

It’s not to say I won’t ever, I’m just not ready yet.

I was feeling like pizza, but not feeling like pizza. You know? I decided to make strombolis instead.

Strombolis are super easy, honest. Plus, I have no tradition regarding what goes into them. Generally, I just make up a batch of sourdough pizza dough, roll it out and fill it. (Note: my sourdough pizza dough recipe makes a lot of dough. For these strombolis, I divided the dough in half, froze one half and then split the other half again before rolling out into two strombolis.)

Pepperoni Stromboli

In this case, Alexd00 was around and he has different preferences for his pizzas than I do. So I made him a stromboli filled with ricotta cheese, mozzarella and pepperoni. Once the filling was lined up, it was just a matter of rolling the dough into a sort of log form and sealing the edges. Pre-heat the oven to 500 degrees F and bake for 10 minutes or until the dough looks golden brown. The oil in the pepperoni did escape a bit and hit my stromboli, so if this might be a concern – say you’re making a separate stromboli for a vegetarian – it might be best to bake your strombolis on different baking stones.

Spinach and Mushroom Stromboli

Mine, I filled with ricotta cheese, mozzarella, spinach and mushrooms. Yeah, yeah, some people would figure this is boring. To kick it up a bit, I added a sprinkle of feta cheese and some crushed red pepper. On another day,  might be tempted to add a little chicken in there for extra protein.

All in all, very tasty. Another hint is to let the strombolis cool just a bit after they come out of the oven. That way, the melty insides don’t just come spilling out when you slice them in half. I served a little spaghetti sauce on the side for dipping and it was a hearty lunch. Honestly, just half of one of these could probably have been a satisfying serving.

I have recently become interested in a band called AKB48. They are cute and fun and their music cheers me up. Incidentally, they will be at Anime Expo this year.

Based on the idea of cheering me up and my new fondness of AKB48, I’m being tempted to go to Anime Expo. This is madness! Otakon is just a month beyond Anime Expo. Plus, I already went to AnimeBoston earlier this year.

However, it is fairly affordable, especially if I room with Alexd00 and company. However, I’ve always roomed with people I know: Alexd00, Helen…In the name of reducing hotel cost, there is the idea being entertained of rooming with additional people. These would be unknown people also attending the convention.

I’m not so big on that. Guy or girl, I don’t know them. Guy, especially, I’m not thrilled about for obvious reasons but even a girl can be a pain in the @$$ to room with if you don’t know her and just as capable of doing things such as messing with your stuff or worse.

The guys do this all the time, rooming with people from forum that they haven’t met before, and I guess it works out ok for them.

I just…have my reservations.